Why Is My Stepson Excluding Us From His Wedding Plans?

A reader is hurt by her stepsons efforts to keep her away from his fiances family, including a future in-law who dismissed her as not blood.

My stepson is getting married this year. His father and I embrace our future daughter-in-law and looked forward to meeting her family. I began corresponding with her mother and expressed our interest in flying out to meet them. My stepson discouraged this; he said they would be visiting our area soon. But we werent introduced to them when they came. Later, I received a call from his fiances mother, who clearly mistook me for my husbands ex-wife. She said she loved meeting me and referred to the new wife me! as not blood. At Thanksgiving, my stepson and his mother flew to visit his fiances family and made lots of wedding plans, including for a rehearsal dinner for which we will pay half. How can we get past all these hurtful exclusions, some affecting our pocketbook? (I note: My husbands relationship with his ex-wife is frosty.)

STEPMOM

I totally understand your bruised feelings. That phone call on which you were mistaken for your husbands ex-wife sounds awful! I suspect the explanation lies largely in that frosty relationship between your husband and his former wife. Visits seem to have been organized to keep them apart and to prioritize your stepsons mother. (I get that: I happen to be a mamas boy myself.)